Life often doesn’t go as planned. When Kia separated from her husband of six years and had to start a new life with two boys, she already felt overwhelmed. When she found out she was pregnant shortly after, her heart broke. She thought, “How could I care for my two boys and a newborn alone?”
Because of her circumstances and knowing she couldn’t afford a newborn, Kia made an appointment at the abortion clinic since abortion was a service covered by her insurance. She felt this was her best option. Kia said, “No one at the abortion clinic tells you about the guilt and shame you may feel.”
Kia received the first dose of the abortion pill in the clinic, but it wasn’t until she took the second dose at home that the reality of what she was doing hit her. Immediately, the guilt of her decision crept in, followed by shame.
Anger and self-destructive behavior followed Kia’s decision. Disgusted with herself and the choices that ruled her life, she could hardly look at her boys. To survive, she did everything she could to bury the pain.
When Kia’s divorce was finalized a year later, her ex-husband was granted custody of her boys. She began fighting to get her boys back. In the process, the fight nearly took her out as she was swept into the chains of addiction. She was desperate to numb the pain and kill time until she could see her boys again.
This cycle continued in Kia’s life for the next two years. One night, she found herself drinking at a friend’s house. The night was a blur, but the abuse she suffered had lasting consequences. Five weeks after that night, Kia found herself pregnant. She knew she could never put herself through another abortion; it never even crossed her mind. She was determined to carry this baby to term, despite the circumstances of conception and the anger she felt toward the child’s father. After enduring months of continued abuse, Kia made the courageous choice to end the relationship once and for all.
She and her baby were safe, but she was alone once again. Her pregnancy was not easy. She was anxious and guilt-ridden. “I didn’t feel like I deserved a baby,” Kia said.
Kia said she felt God was with her during her darkest moments, just waiting to bring beauty from ashes. And beauty He gave. Nearly full-term, Kia gave birth to a beautiful, breathtaking baby girl.
However, Kia still struggled with the fear of losing her little girl….
Two months later, Kia’s fears were realized. Her sweet baby struggled to breathe. Kia rushed her baby girl to the hospital, petrified she would lose her baby after all.
She prayed for the first time in a long time, and then Kia experienced a miracle. Her daughter’s breathing problems disappeared. She no longer went limp and turned blue. Kia said, “I learned then just to accept the grace that had been given to me, no matter what I thought I deserved or didn’t.”
Kia no longer struggles with the deep shame and fear that had crushed her for so long. She was able to find healing after the birth of her daughter, and her sons and little family are thriving to this day.
Kia is a woman of courage! We love sharing brave stories like these – stories of hope and healing after an abortion decision and stories of moms like her. If you have had an abortion and need someone to talk to that will understand, please reach out today.