An unplanned pregnancy can find you emotionally, spiritually or physically unprepared to raise your child a safe, loving environment. In these circumstances, adoption is a wonderful choice to consider. Understanding the pros and cons of open and closed adoptions can help make your options clearer.
By choosing an open adoption, you leave the door open to an ongoing relationship with your baby and the adoptive family. In some cases, this means regular in-person visits with your baby. Or, if you prefer to simply send letters, photos or gifts when possible, that’s okay too. You and the adoptive parents will agree on the specifics as part of the adoption plan.
Pros: For the birth mother, the greatest advantage of an open adoption is the obvious one – the opportunity to remain connected with your child. You’ll be able to form a unique and beautiful relationship. Many adoptive families would say the biggest advantage for them is not having to hide life-changing information from their child. For the child, the more loving, caring people available to support her, the better.
Cons: A birth mother may find it difficult to have access to her child without the authority to make important decisions about how she’s raised. Adoptive parents may feel pressured to allow the birth mother more access to the child than they’re comfortable with, or they may not like certain influences from the birth mother. The child in an open adoption may feel pulled in two directions when birth parents and adoptive parents don’t see eye to eye.
By choosing a closed adoption, you are removing the option of maintaining a relationship with your baby. Your child will be placed with a carefully selected family capable of providing a loving home. You likely won’t know anything more about the adoptive family, and they won’t know much about you, other than any relevant medical history.
Pros: For most birth mothers, the biggest benefit of closed adoption is the sense of closure, enabling you to move on with your life. For the adoptive parents, there is freedom to raise the child as they deem fit, without influence from the birth parents. For the child, there is less confusion and fewer concerns over split loyalties.
Cons: You won’t have the opportunity to watch your child learn and grow, or to bond with the person you created. Adoptive parents may always wonder about the origin of certain traits or behaviors in their child. The child may grow up confused by differences from her parents, and upon learning she’s adopted, yearn to know her birth parents.
In addition to open and closed adoptions, there are hybrid models called semi-open adoptions. These allow birth parents and adoptive parents to blend together aspects they like from the other two types.
For information on all your pregnancy options, including adoption, contact Sira in Gainesville today at 352-377-4947.